Monday, January 3, 2011

Leap..............

............and the net will appear.

This is on Suze Weinberg's blog header. 

And every time I check to see what Suze has created, I take a loooong moment and stare at this saying.

It hits home for me because it is the complete opposite of my natural instinct.  I fret, over think, fret some more, then worry.  I wish I could say that was just over the "big" things in life, but nope.  I do the same when creating. 

I fret that I'm not using the "IT" product.
I over think each and every detail.
I fret again that my style, or lack of a style, will mean no one will like what I have made.
I worry that I will come up majorly short on what is expected of me.

I've been told I need a good cyber slap to snap me out of such thoughts.  Probably true.  But, those nagging thoughts creep back in on the next project.

Once upon a life time ago, I was an art major.  I was even accepted to a large university for their art program. 

But, I chickened out.  I had always attended very small private church schools.  When my best friend asked me if I wanted to be her roommate at yet another small private parochial college, I jumped on the chance.  I was too scared to face something new.  I worried that I would never find the art building on a campus that made up most of the town.  I was afraid that someone would tell me I had absolutely no business being in the art program.  I was afraid I'd never find my way off the campus, if and when I ever found the spot I was suppose to be at.

Instead, I attended the small church affiliated college that had an equally small art department.  One that didn't really push you competitively to create outside your comfort zone.  But I was "comfortable".  Until a friend (who DID take the leap and attended a public university) showed me what was required of her in her art classes. 

Insert REALITY here____________________.

There was no way that I was ever going to make it out in the "real" world with the art degree I was working on.  I was being graded on "my own improvements" and getting assignments in on time.  She was being graded on what innovated ideas she used in her assignments that were "out of the box".  And against what others were doing.

So I changed majors.  A choice, again, made by fear of the unknown. But that is a different topic, for another time.  The point is, I was afraid to LEAP. 

This year I want to LEAP. 

 I want to leap off the cliff and create what my eyes and mind tell me is ME.
I want to leap and be an outlaw, of sorts, that creates with what I like, versus what everyone else likes. 
I want to leap and try some new things that are not just paper craft related. 

Leap...............and the net will appear. 

The first step is the biggest one. One......two........three.........JUMP!

7 comments:

Stef H (Glitterbabe) said...

well i can see where your ART major comes from, but you should be a writer. you're funny, heart-warming, heart-wrenching and fabulous.

i sooooooo get the meaning of that sentiment! and i'm glad to learn a little more about you.

here's that SMACK you need .... SSSMMMAAACCCKKK right upside the head! now LEAP!

hugs :)

Louisiana Belle said...

Your post resonated with me. I think all creative types go through periods of self-doubt. When you put yourself out there for others to judge, it can be a scary thing! Please know that you are wonderfully creative! I've enjoyed viewing your work and wishing I had your kind of talent. Be brave girl and let it all hang out

GLENDA BROOKS said...

Starla...Find your Joy! It is there within you and just waiting for you. You are so creative and have such an eye for color! Do what you like...make it look the way you want it to look and I guarantee everyone else will love it. Don't create for everyone else, do it for you! That is what this journey is about! Go ahead and leap....I've seen the edge of the net...it is there!

Joan B said...

what a great post. consider yourself smacked!

ps. 4 cards later and my room is still neat and tidy

Sylvia said...

I enjoyed your expose into the past! I went to that big University and majored in fashion design, but then changed to art education after my freshman year because I was convinced that I would never use my fashion design! I too was a scared, chicken little kind of girl who was swallowed up by professors who for the most part were going through their childhoods again. I went to college in 1967, the years of flower children and Vietnam. So I totally understand your want to LEAP! I love the leaps you took last year!

Susan Raihala said...

Totally. Awesome. Word. Good for you!

Micki said...

Hm, it's almost scary how alike we think. You just may be my soul sister :-)